Void relationships.

The 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and part of the 70s parents need to give the 80s and 90s babies lessons on marriage. From Christine, to civil, customary, Muslim and Hindu marriage, because they are using a totally different book. Most of the 80s and 90s babies are scared to partake this legal steps needed by them to finalize the marriage steps. They base their defense on the rituals needed to be followed for marriage to be complete to be very expensive and they have no knowledge about them. For example;

• Introduction of the two parties to their families- Knowing each other’s back ground is very important, for example find out if he or she has siblings or parents. But you have to remember first reception defines you. Dress well and humbling yourself is very important. Also most people fear being judged so they would rather wait till they make some good cash before they go introduce their partners. But remember time is running out. Before you know it you will be parents. In my opinion the idea of you just going to each other’s home speaks out. Most of our parents went through the full ritual before he or she is allowed to stay with his or her partner. I know this is the 21 century but we need to do things the right way. Culture defines us.
• Paying dowry- cultures are different when it comes to dowry, seeking advice on it is very essential. Most people are intermarrying. For example in Kenya we have 42 tribes and each one of them is defined by its culture, especially the ones affecting marriages do stand out a lot. Few of the 80s and 90s babies are aware of some of the sensitive cultures in their tribes, am I Wrong? How will they learn if it’s not from their parents?
• The biggest and the most scary part being weddings. I mean come on let us forget the idea of a big perfect wedding. The 80s and 90s babies are of that idea, you know, having an outstanding wedding. Coming to appoint of it being a completion, but if you can afford it’s okay, if not why not go to the Attorney General. As you can see it’s not that expensive from this.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

• Lastly the idea of marriage just scares them. Others than the fear of being monogamous. Most of them get into it and whenever they cannot withstand the pressure they tend to give up leaving their partners with the whole responsibilities. This is because the boys haven’t learnt to be good responsible husbands and same to girls.

Parents better step in before it’s too late. Sometimes good husbands and wife's are built from learning. For those who are lucky to have parents am sure they have a hand full of good ideas when it comes to marriage since they have observed their parents. 

How did you the 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s do it? I mean most of you got married and married early but still made it work. Statistics show they are the only ones who have managed to keep their marriages long to as long as 30- 40 years. Wau! That is a long time. Moreover husbands got a chance marry more than one wife and wives hard many children.

Most of the 80s and 90s babies are in void relationships thinking and forcing it to fit in marriage category. Giving birth and committing to a relationship that has no base. Let us think this through i mean;

•  Introducing your partner to your parents does not cut it. 
• Giving him or her an engagement ring does not guarantee your relationship to be marriage.
• Having a child or children does not count it at all.

Paying part of the dowry does not make it legal either.

We need to undergo the full and complete rituals for it to be valid and earn the name marriage. The reason why this topic is bugging me is because issues are coming up among the youth and they have no idea how they are supposed to handle it. African countries, for example Kenya having different tribes, hence most parties intermarry forcing them to share and learn each other’s cultures.

Most of them assume. So the problem comes when something happens to either of them, yet they are staying together as married couples. In Africa most women follow their men's cultures since she is married there. Let us open our eyes and see where the problems could come. The other day a young man lost his girlfriend, they had gone so deep into their relationship, so trouble emerged because the guy had only visited the ladies family nothing hard been done counting it to be apart of marriage stages. Know tell me who will claim this lady and bury her. Or the other way round when the man dies leaving his girlfriend with children. Everyone will have an opinion according to his or her culture.

All I am saying to the 80s and 90s babies’ marriage is bigger than what they think it is. Let us learn our cultures and teach our children the importance of identity. Identity is very important remember that. Let us give our parents and children a break and save ourselves some embarrassments that without doubt can be avoided.